When DC and I decided to try for number 2, we really didn’t think much about the pandemic. It was over the summer, cases were really low and life just seemed like it would be going back to normal soon. We honestly did not think that we would be in the situation we are in today.
I’m approximately less than 2 months out from delivering and things in Toronto are not good. Yes, cases are finally going down again but that is only because we are under strict lock down. And the optimism we felt about the vaccine…well let’s just say our government isn’t giving us much to be optimistic about these days!
I’m not trying to be a negative Nancy here but I’m just saying, this is not where we thought we were going to be 8 months ago when we first found out we were expecting.
I haven’t talked much about what’s its been like to be pregnant in a pandemic but in today’s post I want to share what the experience has been like thus far, how are are coping and the things we are planning to (and have to do) differently due to Covid.
How It’s Been
This pregnancy has been 100% different from the first one, which I share all about in this video. So I won’t go into detail and only talk about how it’s been in relation to covid.
The biggest difference I would say is DC not being able to attend any of the ultrasounds or dr’s appointments. I always say how lucky I feel that this is our second pregnancy and he got to be there for those special moments like hearing the heart beat for the first time or seeing the baby at the scan. Now I just play him videos of the heart beat and we FaceTimed at my first ultrasound. I truly feel bad for every partner who is not able to be there for these appointments and send my love to you. It’s not an easy thing for either person to go through.
Another difference is that I haven’t had as many appointments as I did the first time around. My first appointment with my OB was on the phone which felt useless but now I am seeing her more regularly which makes me happy.
Otherwise, the only other thing that’s really affected my pregnancy is the added anxiety that covid brings. Pregnancy is filled with so many unknowns in normal life: when will I go into labour, is the baby okay, what will my birth experience be like? Now I have all of those question, plus: what it will be like to wear a mask during labour, how will I decide who get’s to come visit the baby and how soon, will DC even be allowed to leave the hospital room once we’re inside, will I be able to have a grandparent help with Lily when we go to the hospital? These might not seem like big deal questions, but honestly, they keep me up at night.
How Am I Coping
I’ve been treating the unknown’s of covid similarly to how I treat my anxiety in general. I often journal about the things that are making me anxious. Just writing them down really helps give me clarity and always feels like a big weight off my chest.
I see my therapist every now and then and share with her how the pandemic is making me feel and she always gives me good coping strategies.
And probably the thing that has helped the most is utilizing my mom tribe. I speak to my friends who had just given birth and ask them so many details about how their experience was, what kind of help do they have, who did they let see the baby and how fast? It helps to have your friends trail blaze these unknown paths before you and to all my girls who have put up with my questions, you know who you are, thank you!!
Unfortunately the only thing that would make me feel better is just not possible, which is knowing what covid is going to look like in 2 months. That way we can put a plan in place, know if we can let people into our bubble and understand what the hospital situation will be like, etc. But there really is no telling where this pandemic is going. We just hope things get better and we’re not in a lockdown.
What Will We Be Doing Differently? ‘
The one good thing that comes from this pandemic is the no visitors policy in the hospital. Last time we had WAY too many people post birth come visit at the hospital and it ended up being a stressful situation for me. I like that this time around, it will just be DC and I and will give us that special one-on-one time with the new baby.
Before Covid, I used to joke that I was going to put caution tape around our house to keep the visitors away. But now that we might not even be allowed visitors at all, I realize what a luxury it was last time to have that support. Just maybe not so many people at once ALL the time haha.
So this time around we are still not sure what the plan is. Even if the government allows, we will probably still not have any visitors for the first few weeks when the baby is super fresh and just keep things nice and safe. And then we will assess.
Another thing we’re doing differently is not having a night nurse. A night nurse, or baby nurse as they are sometimes called, comes to the house for the overnight shift to help with the baby. I know in the US they are normally 24/hr nurses but in Toronto I think the norm is 8-10 hours. Their job is to stay awake at night and help with the night feeding, diaper changes, soothing back to sleep, etc. It’s an extra set of hands so mom can rest and recover. Obviously, it is a super luxurious thing to have a night nurse and not the norm at all! We were so lucky to have one with Lily, and I was super open about that at all times because I never try and hide the support I have. Otherwise it doesn’t give the whole picture of recovery and postpartum and I have always been open and honest with you guys. So anyhow, I decided this time not to have one due to covid. If things get better cases wise and I’m really struggling, I am open to hiring one and feel grateful it is an option but for now we don’t feel the need.
The last thing I can think of that will be majorly different is having to deliver the baby with a mask on! I know the policies are different every where but this is what I have been told at my hospital, from my doctor. At first, I was extremely upset and anxious about it but I’ve gotten more and more used to the idea and know that while it’s happening, I’m sure I won’t even notice. It’s a minor detail but for some reason still feels significant to me. One day I will share with her how she was born during the craziest time ever!
So those are my thoughts about being pregnant in the pandemic. As much I hate the current situation, I am extremely grateful for my healthy pregnancy and that DC and I can both safely work from home. We are super thankful for all the front line workers who have had to put their own lives at risk and I’m so grateful to my OB and the staff at the hospital. We’ll now just pray for a smooth and safe delivery and hope this pandemic is over soon!