OUR BIRTH STORY
I’m sitting on the couch about to write my birth story, staring ahead at my baby Lily Scarlett. She’s been in this world for one week and one day and I still can’t believe it. I wanted to write this while everything is still fresh in my mind. After all, they say “you forget,” which is how and why people continue to have babies, right?! So here it goes, my birth story.
Based on the majority of my family and friends’ experiences, I did not actually think I would carry past my due date. For some reason, everyone I knew seemed to deliver in the 37-39 week range, with maybe a handful of friends in the 40’s. So when I hit 41 weeks pregnant, I was a little frustrated (okay, that might be an understatement).
My pregnancy had been incredible, easy and I loved almost every minute of it. But the last few weeks got difficult. I was suffering from neuritis in my rib cage which basically felt like my ribs were broken and on fire at the same time. Plus, the baby had dropped a lot.So basically I was walking around with that felt like a bowling ball in my crotch. It was impossible to get comfortable.
At my 39 week appointment, my OB did a sweep and told me I was already 2cm dilated. She estimated that baby could possibly come in the next 48 hours. We left the hospital so excited thinking, okay, this is it! But I didn’t feel anything the rest of the week aside from my normal aches and pains and some braxton hicks contractions. There was no sign of baby coming yet.
Finally, it was May 6th, my due date and we had our 40 week appointment. I asked my doctor about being put on the induction list. Where I delivered, you can’t schedule an induction, but are put on a list based on priority of the baby’s health, mom’s health and how far along you are. I was at the very bottom of the list in terms of priority, plus, I really didn’t want to get induced, I wanted to go into spontaneous labour. At this same appointment, my OB did a second sweep and let me know I was already 3cm dilated. I was so happy to progress another cm in a week and thought for sure that this would be it, she would come any minute!
Aside from an immense amount of pressure in my pelvis and bladder, and the usual braxton hicks, I still wasn’t feeling any signs of labour. I really really wanted to go into labour naturally but decided that if I hit 41 weeks, I would mentally be okay with getting induced since baby is at a slightly higher risk and my body just couldn’t take it anymore. We were still on the waiting list and if I got called in, I was ready for it.
On Sunday May 12, around 9:30 pm I got a call from the hospital wanting to know if I was okay with getting called in for an induction in the middle of the night. I said 100% yes. They told me keep my phone on, that we would likely be called in by 6am, but no guarantees. Anxious and excited, we both took showers, cleaned up the whole house, brought our hospital bags downstairs, got in bed, and waited for the call. It never came.
Needless to say, we woke up Monday morning, 41 weeks pregnant, super annoyed that the call never came. We had an appointment at the OB at 11:00 am so we decided to pack our car with our hospital bags and hope that this time we wouldn’t be coming home from the hospital without our baby.
My OB gave me a THIRD sweep and this time I was 4cm dilated. She told me we were close on the induction list, to go walk around and hopefully either we would get called in or I would go into labour.
At this point I was so over the idea of spontaneously going into labour. It just didn’t feel like it was going to happen for me. When we left the hospital I was so defeated. It felt like such a tease and I just wanted to have the baby already. I really didn’t think we would be coming home from this appointment without her and I honestly could not stand thinking about having another night on the couch, sitting in pain and just waiting. Alas, that’s where we found ourselves again.
But at 6:30 pm the phone rang. It was the hospital and they said it was our turn to come in. They asked if I had eaten dinner, I said no, so they told me to eat something and then head on over. We totally freaked out, started running around the house like crazy people cleaning up. I made myself a bagel and butter, got in the car and DC was so anxious he started driving in the wrong direction. At 7:30 pm we arrived at the hospital and were checked into our birthing suite. The labour nurse came in and asked about my birth plan.
I had a birth plan all along and I will quickly tell you about it. I am the most squeamish person ever. I have fainted at the sight of blood several times, can barely get my blood pressure taken without feeling dizzy and passed out the first time I had a pap smear. I am what you would call a ‘terrible patient.’ So my birth plan was that I wanted an epidural, I wanted a vaginal delivery and if they needed to do an episiotomy I was fine with it, but I did NOT want to know about it. I also did not want them to say anything out loud that explained what was happening. So no using words like, “cutting, stitching, bleeding, etc.” The less I knew, the better I would be mentally.
It’s pretty crazy to say, but my birth plan actually went exactly according to plan. And that doesn’t really ever happen. I’m super grateful for this. At 8:30 pm they nurses came in to prep me for the epidural and said I would get it in about an hour. She hooked me up to the IV which of course made me start to faint. DC had to run and get a washcloth to put on my head. He didn’t ring it out first and got the whole hospital floor and myself soaking wet. The nurse was laughing at him.
We waited about an hour for the epidural and then the nurse came in and told me the anaesthesiologist was called into an emergency C section so it would be about 2 more hours of waiting. They asked if I wanted to wait for the epidural or they can break my water now and give it to me after. I thought about it for a while and decided that since I was already 4cm dilated, I didn’t want to risk breaking my water and getting too far dilated that I could possibly miss my chance of getting an epidural. I had zero interest in a “natural” birth.
Literally thank god I did that…
At 11:00 pm the anaesthesiologist came back and inserted the epidural. I was really scared but it was really quick and honestly wasn’t that bad. It was a painful pinch for a few seconds. The scariest part was holding really still so they don’t put it in the wrong place. Luckily for me, I wasn’t having any contractions yet so I could stay really still and it went perfectly fine.
At 11:45 pm, the dr came in to break my water. It took one second and I didn’t really feel anything except a warm gush of water because the epidural was already kicking in. Now it was time to wait.
With inductions and labour in general, you never know how long it will take you to get to 10cm dilated (the point where you can start to push). It can take 24 hours or even longer! Since they broke my water at 4cm, I had a feeling it wouldn’t take that long…and I was right.
They told us to relax, watch a TV show and the dr would be back to check how far dilated I was in a little bit. We wanted our moms in the room for the pushing part, so we decided to call them when I hit 7-8cm dilated to get ready and come in.
We put on The Office and I was kind of high from the epidural and had literally never laughed so hard in my life. Each time I laughed, the water would come gushing out of me. We had to ask the nurse the change my underpad so many times. DC said the laugh didn’t even sound like me. Must have been some good drugs.
At 12:45 am the nurse came in to add pitocin to my drip. Pitocin mimics the natural oxytocin our bodies produce during contractions which helps make them stronger. I started to feel the contractions getting stronger by the pressure in my bum. I was also told that the epidural was on a drip and I could press a button if I ever needed more. After an hour, the pressure was getting really strong to the point that it was painful but I didn’t want to press the button because I knew I wanted to be able to feel my body so I could properly push.
At 3:45 am the dr came back to see how dilated I was. We were hoping around 7-8cm so we could call our moms in…so we were shocked when she told me I was 10cm and it was go-time! All I could think was, thank god I waited for the epidural. I couldn’t believe I was only “in labour” for 3 hours.
We called our moms and the dr said I could wait about 45 minutes before we started pushing to let the baby’s head drop down further. At this point the pressure from the contractions was really intense and painful that I had to squeeze DC’s hands really hard each time. I still didn’t add more to my epidural. Our moms arrived and at 4:45 am I started to push.
Pushing is the most intense thing I have ever experienced in my entire life. The nurses, DC and our moms were amazing, coaching me through. But it’s really hard to understand exactly where to push. Basically you think of pushing a poo out. My legs are the strongest part of my body so I kept wanting to push against everyone with my legs and the nurse kept telling me to relax my legs. It was so hard to fight that urge.
I was in a lot of pain on my right side in my back and I’m pretty sure the epidural was wearing off but I didn’t want anymore because I needed to feel what I was doing to get the job done. I could feel each time a contraction was coming on and told the nurses each time I needed to push.
About an hour into pushing, the resident OB came in and started coaching me. I asked one nurse and DC to hold each of my legs. I was grabbing on to the sides of the hospital bed for my life. The noises that came out of me were animal-like. I was screaming, groaning and swearing. It was like an out-of-body experience you can’t explain.
The sun was starting to come up and the head OB on call came in. There was a lot of whispering and I knew that they were talking about an episiotomy and passing on the instructions that I didn’t want to know about it. The nurses and doctors truly respected my wishes and were very hush hush about what they were doing down there.
Finally, the resident dr looked at me and said, Marlie, you’ve been pushing for almost 2 hours, you don’t have much time left. We will only let you push for about 15 more minutes or will need to use suction to get the baby out. This put me into some sort of intense state where I knew I would be able to do it. Everyone was giving me all these pushing cues at the same time and I finally told everyone stop talking, looked at the resident dr in the eyes and told her to coach me through, no one else. I told myself I could do it and gave it everything I could. It was the hardest workout of my life.
At 6:33 am, after the last few big pushes (and small episiotomy), I felt the relief of the pressure as Lily Scarlett came into this world. They lifted her in front of my face and placed her on my chest and I was in complete shock. I looked at DC on my left who was staring at her crying and kept asking him if she was okay. She was perfect.
The next 30 minutes were a mix of intense pain and complete bliss. Lily was skin to skin on my chest as they helped me birth the placenta and started to sew me up. I was having intense contractions and they were pressing on my stomach to get the placenta out. I could feel them working down there and started reaching for the epidural button and kept pushing it. I was screaming in pain and they ended up freezing me with a needle to finish the job. The whole time Lily was on my chest and I just couldn’t believe it.
My beautiful baby girl, born on May 14, 6:33 am, weighed 6 pounds 6 ounces. Childbirth was the most unreal experience of my entire life. I’m so grateful to Sunnybrook Hospital for the incredible care. To my mom and mother in law for literally holding me up during the birth. And to DC for absolutely everything. Lily is the best thing to ever happen to us and we are so thankful for our beautiful, healthy baby girl.
