NANNY Q+A
We hired a full-time, live-in nanny for Lily back in August and today I am answering all your questions about the nanny life. We are so incredibly happy with our decision and she already feels like a close member of our family.
This post will cover everything in a Q+A format: from hiring to what the transition is like. If you have any other questions, feel free to DM me or send an email! Let’s get into it:
How did you decide to do nanny versus daycare?
We definitely considered both as we have friends and family with both scenarios and see the benefits of each situation. Ultimately, we decided a nanny is better suited to our lifestyle as my job hours are not conventional 9-5. We also considered Covid and the potential closing of schools again and wanted the option to still have childcare. We definitely acknowledge and appreciate that even having the option to make that choice is a huge luxury and we are grateful!
Where do I begin to look?
We found our nanny on Facebook. I joined 2 separate Toronto nanny Facebook groups and listed my job posting there. I then would receive private messages from potential candidates and would chat with them on Facebook. From this convo I would decide if I wanted to interview.
I also posted on my own personal Facebook page to let people know I was looking and asked any family or friends with nannies if they know of anyone. I was able to get a few options from word of mouth.
Lastly, we didn’t use one, but there are agencies you can use to find a nanny. We just preferred not to pay if we didn’t have to.
What did your job posting specifically say?
“Looking for a full-time, live-in nanny for my 15 month old daughter. We are located in midtown Toronto. No sponsorship available.”
We were not looking to sponsor a nanny or take over another family’s sponsorship as it is a long process. We were hoping to find someone who was already a permanent resident in Canada and luckily we did. This site here has good info on what it means to sponsor if you are curious.
What types of questions do you ask in the interview?
- Personal background information: age, where they were from, how long they had been in Toronto
- Experience: specifically with the age group of our child
- References: having a solid reference you can speak to was the number one most important thing for me. Especially if English is not their first language or you are worried about communication, it was super important for me to speak to a former employer.
What qualifications were you looking for?
Experience, trustworthy, reliable reference, warm and loving.
How do you find the “right” one?
I don’t think it’s possible to know until they start or even after a while of them working for you. It’s always a gamble because you can only learn so much from an interview or a single meeting.
The thing that stood out to me when we made the decision was her past experience. She was with the same family for 8 years, including when her former employer was pregnant with her second. So she was there from 0-8 years old for that child. That loyalty and the fact that the family employed her for so long stood out to me.
The reason why she needed a new job was also something that stood out – it was because the kids were now grown up. So nothing specifically happened.
Lastly, having an in-person meeting with the former employer gave me the confidence to make the decision. Hearing from another parent in person about their experience is the best interview you can have in my opinion.
And of course, the vibe I got from meeting her in person. You have to go off your instinct and hope for the best!
Pros and cons of live-in versus live-out?
Live-out’s are generally more expensive but the pro is you don’t have someone living in your personal space. Live-in’s can be more affordable but some people are uncomfortable with the idea of having a non-family member living in their home. I personally love having our nanny live with us as she feels like a part of the family anyway. Also, when it comes to another potential Covid lockdown, we will feel safe knowing our nanny lives with us and we can all bubble together.
When I was looking, I found it really hard to find a live-in that didn’t require sponsorship. Most permanent residents will already have somewhere to live, so that’s just something to keep in mind.
We ended up getting lucky with our situation but after realizing how hard it was to find a live-in PR, we started to consider sponsoring.
What are her hours?
You can set whatever hours work for you (obviously being reasonable) based on your job and personal lives. We chose 8am-5pm.
What are the payment details?
Fees will depend on where you live. Of course in a city like Toronto, the going rate will be a lot higher than other places. My recommendation is finding out what other families are paying so you have an idea of what is fair and expected. If you don’t know anyone, use the Facebook groups.
How do you pay?
When it comes to payment, we set up automatic payroll deposit using an amazing service called Tax4Nanny. They make all the overwhelming and scary parts of hiring seamless. She takes over all things taxes, workman safety, direct deposits and makes sure everything you are doing to pay your nanny is kosher.
I know she helped a lot of people during Covid too when there were a lot of temporary layoffs for people who couldn’t have their nannies come back and forth during lockdown.
She also helped us “clean up” the first month of paying our nanny when we were super disorganized and just doing e-transfers. Highly recommend using this service!!
What are living accommodations like?
She lives in her own room in the basement and has a bathroom with her own shower. She brought her bed and furniture from her old house but we bought her all new sheets, duvets, towel sets, etc.
Does she do any housekeeping?
Yes. Her number one job is Lily but during Lily’s nap she will get a little housekeeping done. This was something discussed with her beforehand.
Do you eat all meals together?
No. It’s a little weird right now as we don’t have a kitchen or a table to eat at so we all kind of just eat in random spots of the house when we can.
Do you give a detailed schedule or general outline of the day?
When she first started, I printed out a very detailed schedule of Lily’s day. I also gave lots of notes on specifics like how we cut her food, any sleep rules we have (sleep sack, sound machine, etc.). It’s better to give more detail than less at the beginning!
The first week she really just shadowed a day in the life of Lily and I. She watched how I fed her, played with her, changed her diaper and put her to sleep.
Now it’s a little different. As Lily goes through leaps and sleep regressions, I fill her in on things like when I think she needs to go down for a nap or if something needs to be adjusted. But overall once her shift starts with Lily, she has full control and I totally trust her to take care of her.
My best tip is to make communication open from the beginning and make sure your nanny knows that there are no such thing as stupid questions. I would rather her feel comfortable to ask me the same thing 100 times and be safe.
Does she take Lily to any programs during the day?
Yes! She takes her to 3 programs a week which is with almost all nannies so it’s worked out great!
What’s it like to live with someone you don’t know?
It’s definitely weird at first, not gonna lie! But like anything, you get used to it and become close quickly.
How do you trust a nanny alone with your child?
It’s hard at first and scary. You sort of just have to hope for the best.
What was the transition like when she started?
It was really hard for both me and Lily. Especially living together at the cottage when we first started. If I was present, Lily only wanted to be with me and would throw a fit.
The hand-off’s were really sad – it broke my heart when she would claw at my skin if I tried to pass her on to the nanny.
I learned quickly that the best thing for me to do was stay away from them and not let Lily see me. There really wasn’t anywhere for me to go because we were at the cottage so I hid out in my bedroom most of the day.
We also hired her right when I started to get sick with first trimester nausea so I would spend the days lying in bed so sick, just listening to them play and get to know each other. I am so grateful to have this situation – pregnant with a wonderful nanny – but not going to sugarcoat it, I felt really sad and down during this transition time.
Side note, because I was so sick and we didn’t tell her I was pregnant yet, I would joke to DC that she thinks we hired her so I could lie in bed all day and watch Netflix!
Now the hand-off’s have gotten SO much better! It’s taken a full 2 months but I would say I can hand her off to our nanny about 40% of the time with no tears – which is a huge improvement. And I know Lily loves her and they are so cute together. It now melts my heart hearing them play versus making me sad like before.
Overall I’m super happy with our experience. With how sick I’ve been in this second pregnancy, I honestly don’t know how we would have survived without her, so the timing couldn’t have worked out better.
If you have more questions, you know where to find me!